Composure
by The Countess of Monte Cristo
Summary: Kurama wallows in guilt, but Hiei isn't having it. Takes place during Chapter Black.


_Fox_

Hiei could see Kurama stiffen in his periphery. The four of them, Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and Mitari, walked shoulder to shoulder through the caves towards the lion's den. They were silent, the only conversation being Yusuke's occasional inquiries about how much farther they had to go and Mitari's tense whispered replies. All the while, Kurama had been silent as the grave, but it was not his usual silence. It was a _loud_ silence, a_ heavy_ silence that seemed to fill the space around it, suffocating those in its immediate vicinity with its oppressiveness. The kind of quiet that lets one know a storm is on its way. A fierce tempest was raging within the fox, his mind in utter chaos, deftly hidden by his calm facade. His composer was back in place after his momentary lapse, an iron padlock over his heart. But if there was one person Kurama could never fool, it was Hiei.

When Hiei tried again to greet the fox telepathically, he felt a firm wall slam in place, forcing him out of the demon's mind. He gritted his teeth in annoyance. He was punishing himself, indulging in his favorite pastime—guilt tripping himself. Well, he wouldn't get away with that while Hiei was there.

Silently asking forgiveness, he used his Jagan to forcibly break through the wall he had erected. Hiei felt momentary remorse as he saw Kurama's face crumple in pain, but luckily he was the only one to notice.

The sensations that poured from the breach in the wall assaulted the Koorime all at once. He was washed away in a stream of convoluted memories and emotions. Most of the memories were just a twisted collage of images, he could make out the visage of a child and mother crying above him, he could see corpses scattered around a pedestal on which stood a glittering, jewel entrusted mirror. Sounds accompanied these images, screams, cries, and cold, spine chilling laughter. But it was the emotions that were the most overpowering. The guilt was the first feeling that invaded his mind, then the pain, the disgust, the hatred, and the tiniest hint of embarrassment hiding behind a small glimmer of triumph.

Hiei could guess at the origins of his feelings. Of course, that human conscious of his was plaguing him with the feelings that what he had done was wrong. He had been in this world too long, and its inane moral philosophies were beginning to become his own. He was naturally revolted with himself after what he had been forced to do and hated both Sensui and himself for having done it. The embarrassment naturally came from his demonic side. He had never been so weak in his past. Yoko would scoff at the compassion in the redhead now. A small part of him, his wickedest part, was pleased to have had the opportunity to indulge its dark desires.

Hiei felt Kurama rage in his mind, torn between so many conflicting emotions and thoughts. Kurama had never allowed him in his head before, so Hiei was surprised to find it was almost as if two being were alive in there. Two entities both separate and apart of the other. Opposites in every conceivable way, yet the same soul entirely.

Then next thing he noticed was how heavily guarded and complex a mind it was. There were layers, so many layers that it was impossible to complete read any one thought or discern any given mood. The temporary lack of control that Hiei had witnessed, the unleashing of so many emotions was brief, and his shields were now back in place. Hiei had been simply a catapult , launching a volley at the fortress and creating a small hole in its outer wall. But that wall had been rebuilt quickly and masterfully, rendering his mind an impenetrable fortress once more.

_Hiei, get the hell out of my head!_

The Koorime was shocked not just at how weak the voice was but at his choice of language. As long as he had known the redhead, he had never once heard him swear.

_You're fighting on too many fronts, Fox. Even the detective is worried about you. You don't have the strength to fight me here. Instead, let me lend a solider to your war._

The storm within him seemed to quiet slightly, and his mental voice was much stronger.

_Are you worried about me?_

Hiei started at the innocent and simple question. The inquiry was laced with such wistful hope it gave the fire demon pause. What could make his sound like that? He decided that honesty was always the best course with the fox. He had the uncanny ability to see through his indifferent mask with ease and call his bluffs without hesitation.

_Of course I care, you fool. _

Hiei heard what was the mental equivalent of a snort followed by a sigh.

_Hiei, I would let you help me if I thought you could, but this is something I must do alone…_

_The hell it is, Kurama! You always do this to yourself, and I'm sick of it. You are what you are. You are a demon and perhaps the strongest I have ever met. You can't change what you once were anymore than you can change what you are now. You did what you had to do. There was no other option, and you shouldn't berate yourself for something that was out of your control! For I know you hate nothing more than for something to be out of your control, but that is the way it is. If you don't like it, quit dwelling in your own self-pity and think up a plan to save the whole damn world!_

Kurama's mind reeled at the words he was saying. Soon the tsunami slowly ebbed into a mild wave. A fragile calm descended over his mind, and Hiei was sent a telepathic impression of Kurama's smiling face.

_You have my thanks, Hiei._

_ I don't want your thanks. I want my fox back._


End file.
